Nine crazy baldness cures: But do any of them work?


Hippocrates bald

Nine crazy baldness cures: But do any of them work?

Attempts to cure baldness date back thousands of years and today extend to surgical procedures that cost thousands of pounds. Still, for those of us with a penchant for adventure and an average salary – the following nine crazy baldness cures may be more accessible. The question however is whether any of them actually work.

  1. Taking a tip from the Ancient Egyptians

The ancient Egyptians believed that a mixture of fats taken from a hippopotamus, crocodile, tomcat, snake and ibex with an added hard boiled porcupine hair applied over four days would be the answer to baldness. There’s no solid references in history as to how successful this solution was. However, we’re guessing that given that head pieces were so popular for males during Egyptian times that baldness was something that remained unconquered by this impressive civilisation.

  1. Hair that’s endorsed by Hippocrates

Hippocrates is considered as the founding father of western medicine, with Doctors taking the famous Hippocratic Oath prior to commencing their practising of medicine. You’d think then that Hippocrates would have an effective cure for baldness. Nevertheless given that his mixture of opium, horseradish, pigeon droppings, beetroot and spices never worked on anyone, at least not to achieve anything but their being stoned, we’d say that this was one area of medicine where he was found to be lacking.

  1. The Comb Over: A novel approach from Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar: some say he was a tyrant, others regard him as a history changing leader of an empire, however whatever you may think of him it’s likely that you didn’t regard him as the creator of the humble comb over!

  1. Tip top toupees

Toupees have and still are subject to plenty of ridicule. This baldness cure has graced the head of royalty and otherwise the world over since the 17th Century. Beginning when King Louis XIII wore a toupee to top his head and match his otherwise healthy mane.

  1. Slicking on the snake oil

Many may have heard of snake oil salesman, but they may be unaware that such salesmen were peddling oils that not only promised to heal various ailments, but moreover cure hair loss and promote healthy hair growth once more.

  1. Choosing tea to tickle those roots

In one of the most bewildering entrants to our list we have tea, hailing unsurprisingly from 19th Century England, this so-called cure involved the rubbing of ‘cold indie tea’ into balding scalps.

  1. Heating up that head

20th Century England was a time filled with plenty of scary looking contraptions and none more so than this Hot Head device. Officially known as a Thermocap this item was placed over the head and worn for fifteen minutes each day. This too was about as effective as pouring a pot of tea over one’s head.

  1. Switching on the (vacuum) power

The year of 1936 brought the Xervac, a machine that operated in many ways as a vacuum does. Men could either rent the machine or use one at the barbers where they placed a suction cap over their head and sat back as the machine whirled and vacced at their hair follicles.

  1. Taking a not so modern approach with hair transplants

At the mention of a hair transplant you may imagine the pioneering procedures of today, however the original surgical undertakings look something more akin to a Hammer Horror movie than anything else… Google these images from 1939 at your peril!


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